You are jealous, that is why! Envy is one of the deadly sins for a reason, it is one of the most widespread transgressions and we know we are all going to die having felt that way once right? We are all guilty of it especially at time when we are currently bombarded on social media by people’s best or exaggerated representation of their lives.

Author Bertrand Russel said “...one of the most potent causes of unhappiness is envy”. Envy...”is one of the most universal and deep-seated of human passions”. The thing is we tend to deny it. A better approach is to confess, acknowledge the root of your jealousy which is usually a perceived lack of what the other person seems to have: confidence, beauty, academic success, professional successful, a great relationship, finances in order, children, faith, friends, a house, that car, that skill, those eyelashes…I could go on and on…

Jealousy can be like a knee-jerk reaction, happening in an instant, or can creep up over time. You may be the most sanctified person in the room but jealousy is very pervasive and it will transpire in your language or your attitude towards others. People CAN tell when you think you are so smart being passive aggressive that you do NOT have their best interest at heart. A most common way jealousy manifests itself is you are trying to “take away” or “take back” from that person whatever level of superiority you think they have over you.

You try to bring people down by what you say to them or about them.

• She created new blog because I guess, she has nobody to speak to…

• Oh you are starting a blog?...Who is going to read it?! (ok. Another example :) lol)

• Oh dude! Your wife is expecting again!!! Wow…That is going to be so hard on you guys!

• Oh dude! You are marrying her? Welcome to a life of servitude! Aha…

You try to take people down by your attitude towards or withdrawal from them.

• Oh! She’s getting married. I am NOT going to congratulate her!

• Pfff….Why should I say hi first?  Who does he think he is?

• Ah! House-warming invite uh? AND they want me to bring a gift? Naawwww…

You low-key wish ill upon people.

• Oh look at her sharing all those couples photos…Hummm! I “hope” it lasts…

• He just checked in at another restaurant. Then they can’t pay their bills…

• Oh new fast car! #fastandfurious #neverforget

(A lot of Ohs and Ahs here...but I'm African so ...you'll understand!)

The sad thing is, no matter how hard you try to bring people bring to boost your own weak ego, you will never elevate yourself any higher because you are too busy investing all this negative energy into a life you have no real knowledge of no control over. You are wasting precious time hurting your own soul as your little black heart get smaller and darker. You are emanating bitterness and desperation which tends to drive away the things you actually want. You are wasting a precious ally you could have had with that person who is apparently on the right track you want to get on. What are you doing? You are just burying yourself in darkness and you are getting nothing done.

You need to stop, acknowledge your jealous vindictive ways (grow up emotionally and become more self-aware), and make a conscious decision to change.

I recommend making three simple changes

Do You Boo

Instead of being consumed by other people’s happiness, focus on your own. Who do you think you are? The answer to this question will determine who you will become. Acknowledge your own gifts and nurture them. Acknowledge area where you need to grow and work on them. Humble yourself, ask that person what they are really doing and how they made it to that stage where you want to be; “How did you meet him?”, “How did you learn that?”, “How did you save for that?”, “How are you still happy while coping with this lost?”, “How did you study to ace that test?”, “How did you get that work abroad?”.

Use These People To Elevate Yourself

Turn the people you currently hate on into friends or mentors and you will see if your life does not significantly improve.

Quit Social Media

Many studies have shown that quitting social media, even for a short period of time have made people significantly happier. If you know you are struggling being your best self because all that time you are spending on any given platform. If you know that whenever you log on and start scrolling you are getting more and more annoyed or upset, switch it off! Switch it all off! And go out there to get the things you really want instead of being a spectator. I will also refer you back to point one; Online or off, minimizing the pain of envy requires self-acceptance.

Hey people! How do you get over your jealousy? How do you stop yourself from feeling miserable and bitter towards the happy ones? Let us know below! :)